Who the bleep cares about Mother's Day?
Now and then, reflected in my daughter's eyes is my own face wearing a look
I recall vividly. That of my mother. Not the look of reproach she wore in my
childhood or the look of desperation she wore during my adolescence but the
look she had on at other occasions. Like on Communion Day or Report Card Day
or the day I got married. The look that said, I'm so proud to be your mother.
I'm so proud to be a mother.
My own mother and I were sworn enemies during my adolescence. Daily battles
erupted spontaneously over curfew times, hemlines and my absolute unwillingness
to assume any responsibility around the house. My poor father tried to meekly
adjudicate, caught in-between two power houses of stubbornness. It was only
by my early twenties that the fog of discord began to dissipate. We bonded over
bad bosses and the misery they brought. And then there were bad relationships
to wade through and to survive. Many a times, in the still of the night when
my daughter turns to me and clings for warmth, I remember the warm folds of
another embrace; that of my mother. How I had clung to her through the myriad
disappointments that life brought. And how she had clung back, giving me hope,
infusing me with courage and the will to go on. Many a times, when I am teaching
my daughter to read, I am reminded of yet another mother who sat through countless
maths lessons, who paid for piano lessons, who devised formulas to make learning
easy for me, who made a decision to send me to the best school her money could
buy, who taught me lessons of life which endure to this day.
As I look at my daughter I realize that she is the sum total of all the women
in my family that came before her. Strong women. Strong Goan women. Women who
asserted their independence even though so little was yielded to them. Women
whose backs hunched low from ploughing paddy fields during the day, whose hands
became coarse from drawing well-water and whose voices sung soft lullabies into
the dark of night, as they cradled their sons and daughters to sleep and dreamed
of better days to come.
From their wombs sprung another generation of women; women who walked from
villages to schools far, far away. Women who saw the dawn of Goan independence,
who went to Bombay for further education, who accompanied husbands to work in
the barren deserts of Arabia or waited for fathers of their children to return
from ships that sailed to distant lands. So that their children may live in
hope of better days to come.
As I dance with my daughter and sing lullabies in her tiny ears, I drink a
glass of wine to my mother. To all mothers. You are the giver of life, the creator
of hope, the keeper of secrets, the nourisher of dreams. You are the torch-bearer
who passes on all that is good from one generation to another. You are life
itself. Happy belated Mother's Day
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